Urban Dictionary, or How to Waste Your Morning

i've seen these many times on social sites, but I feel it would be less cool if Urban Dictionary wasn't my favorite place to spend an afternoon. It's like sifting through Wikipedia: you start at "howler monkey" and somehow end at "Medieval Latin." But on UD, for some reason, each usage or definition is super specific to a person's day, or month, or likes and dislikes. Still my favorite:

STFU

8 up, 8 down

an irrational response to your mother's comments that make more sense than your brain can accommodate comfortably "I thought we were going to spend the day together for Father's Day" "Your Dad has been here all day, he worked in the yard for hours and just went to hit golf balls with your brother, they will be back by six" "Oh, so I have been here all day, but he can go off with my brother" some more words of unkindness and then: stfu, i am leaving ridiculous. ridiculous stfu mother daughter father by zzellda Jun 15, 2008

So here it is - me, according to Urban Dictionary:

First Name: John

		1680 up, 571 down
		a very extremely confusing guy. shows that he has feelings for you sometimes, but then might just randomly stop talking to you at any time. veryy flirtatious. manwhore. willll lead you on. hilarious. full of charisma. you have to love him. boys are jealous of him. girls are jealous of the girl he is flirting with at the time.. not persistent. changes moods easily; moody. greatest, most annoying person on the face of this earth..yet i still want to be with him.. "i am soooo confused about what to do about John..he is great..but confusingggg. he constantly makes me sad, angryy, or depressed. its upsetting. is it worth it??" john shawn megan ericka apples speak by yourmommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyy Mar 29, 2008

Last Name: Harrigan

3 thumbs up

1. A formal haircut in which one's pubic hair is styled to resemble a handlebar mustache. 2. A legendary sexual maneuver involving a fully mature dwarf, a dollop of margarine, an amputee, and the anus. 3. A drunken conversation about philosophy and the nature of life, shared over a cigarette. 1. Dan's girlfriend got a harrigan, so every time they have sex, he feels like he's getting head from the monopoly guy. 2. Mark procured a fully mature dwarf, a dollop of margarine, and an amputee: he was ready for a harrigan. 3. You owe me a harrigan. monopoly mustache margarine amputee dwarf by terrence blakely Oct 14, 2008

Age: 24

2 up, 4 down

Arguably the worst age to be when yer shit isn't quite together yet. Yeah you still go out and are the bee's knees when it comes to entertainment. But them ladies want more (why dammit?!) On the other hand, it becomes almost unfair to pick up girls with your wit and status of (hopefully) having yer own place to crash later that evening! Girl: Hey cutie, how old are ya anyways? Dude: Sheet girl! I'm 24! RECOGNIZE! Girl: OMG! Can I have your abortion? Woman: So you live by yourself or with your parents still? Dude: Girl please! I gots me a fly mad stupid pad for y'all to play around in. I'm 24 baby! Woman: EXCUSE ME?! I ain't your baby! I ain't no grrrl! I'm a woman! And you a little BITCH! age 24 shit bee's knees ladies responsible by MULDOON11 Nov 26, 2008

Hometown: Coon Rapids, MN

	70 up, 26 down
	A city in the northern suburbs of Minneapolis. Has the highest mullet per capita ratio of any city in Minnesota. If you go to Menards in Coon Rapids you are sure to see at least 5 mullets, and at least 15 nascar tee shirts. by Sports Pimps May 24, 2005

Month of Birth: January

		184 up, 92 down
	Everyones favorite month!! playing in the snow snuggling by the fire, and having excuse for ur penis looking so small. January: Cold weather shrinks ur junk. cold penis snow junk weather by jimmeny hensworth Aug 25, 2008

Favorite Color: Blue

		23 up, 30 down
	The answer to any and all Mathmatical Problems 1 + 2 = Blue 7/5 = Blue by 4 Feb 22, 2005

I think that may be enough copy and paste for today. I could read these things for days. I didn't think I'd find a funny one for blue, but the math definition made me laugh out loud. And miss a phone call.
Alright, keep it real, guys. I'll be back soon.